On their first day home after the honeymoon, the husband said: "If you make the toast and pour the juice, breakfast will be ready." Wife: Oh how thoughtful? What are we having? Husband: Toast and juice!
A man drained all the water from his swimming pool. Wife: Why did you do that? Husband: I want to practice diving but I can't swim!
In the middle of a fight, the husband said, "Let's not quarrel, let's discuss the things sensibly." "No," said angry wife, "Every time we discuss sensibly, I lose"!